Facing a divorce can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone. Join Andrew, your friendly neighbourhood Australian solicitor and New York attorney, as he walks you through the 5 crucial steps to take when your partner asks for a divorce.
The Divorce Bombshell: What Now?
When your partner drops the “I want a divorce” bombshell, it can feel like your world is spinning out of control. But remember, it’s not the end of the world. Here are five essential steps to help you navigate this challenging time:
1. Be Sure About Your Decision
Before rushing into anything, take a step back and consider your options:
- Have you tried everything to reconcile?
- Have you had honest conversations about the problems in your relationship?
- Are you both willing to try couples counselling?
It’s crucial to make an informed choice rather than just reacting to your partner’s decision. This reflection can be vital for your own recovery and help prevent future regrets.
2. Get a Strong Support System
Going through a divorce can be emotionally draining. Don’t try to go through this alone:
- Seek help from an independent professional, like a psychologist or counsellor
- Consider joining online support groups for people going through divorce
- Remember, it’s okay to lean on others during this difficult time
For professional support, consider reaching out to Relationships Australia or Lifeline Australia.
3. Gather Financial Information
Understanding your financial situation is crucial. Start gathering:
- Bank statements
- Mortgage statements
- Credit card and store card debts
- Payslips and tax returns
- Superannuation statements
- Details of all assets and liabilities
Don’t forget to note any lump sums received during your relationship, such as gifts, inheritances, or redundancy payouts.
Important: Don’t try to hide assets or money. This can lead to severe consequences in court.
4. Don’t Expect Your Ex to Be Reasonable
You can’t control your spouse’s behaviour, but you can control your own:
- Focus on being the most reasonable and calm person you can be
- Try not to react to their behaviour, especially if they have a history of hostility or unreasonableness
- Remember, the breakdown of a marriage can bring out the worst in some people
5. See a Lawyer ASAP
The single biggest mistake people make is waiting too long to get legal advice:
- Speak to a specialist family lawyer as soon as possible, preferably before you separate
- A lawyer can guide you through your legal rights and entitlements
- They can help you avoid making hasty decisions you might later regret
- They can explain the family law process and advise you on likely outcomes
If you’re concerned about costs, look into Legal Aid or community legal centres in your area.
Conclusion
Remember, while this is a challenging time, you can get through it. Focus on taking things one step at a time and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it. With the right support and guidance, you can navigate this difficult period and move towards a brighter future.
If you have any questions about divorce or family law, feel free to leave a comment below or contact us for personalised advice.